Comments on: Retrospection

By: The I’mPerfect Mom » Blog Archive » An example of what truly deserves attention

Wed, 07 May 2008 21:24:33 +0000

[...] Somalia or Zimbabwe may be too much of a [...]

By: anonymous

anonymous — Wed, 07 May 2008 02:24:11 +0000

Dead on accuracy without malice, just straightforward honesty. You pegged her.

I dunno who “her” is but as of this moment, I know at least THREE people like that in the last 35 yrs, two of whom I’ve not seen in a while. I don’t know what to do about the third, really. I wish I could help her but do not know how to do so without enabling her, and yet not appear as being cruel. The best thing I think is to just hope there’s help out there but I’m definitely not it.

By: Mariano

Mariano — Wed, 07 May 2008 00:37:01 +0000

I once knew a lady who felt everything…
and that was the purest lady that i ever met.
I’m also the kind of guy who needs a lot of love.
I’m proud of that…
because love is the most beautiful need in the world.
I once knew a lady who felt a lot of love…
and she was thankful… she was so happy…
It’s seemed like if she didnt need anything else.

I think that the comparison with Somalia or Zimbabwe
is just stupid…
Because with that line of thought…
you cant be sad… ever..
Because you have something to eat.. You have a bed, a house..
so.. you’re saying that a person cant be sad or depressed.. EVER..
I think that this isnt an intelligent post.

Thank you..

Yes, you can be sad but you can’t be sad ALL the time FOR yourself when you consider the sorrow of others. Not normally, anyway. Everything is relative, and you are in control of your need. You don’t have to believe me, just stick around long enough.

By: janya

janya — Sun, 04 May 2008 20:50:38 +0000

jenn,
i love this post. i’m glad you wrote it. now i’m going to read it again.
janya

Thanks Janya. Wish I had more of these “epiphanies”. hehe

By: jennemede

jennemede — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:27:14 +0000

Tracey – hey you! Believe it or not, there are quite a few people like this just walkin’ around.

Dawn – very interesting. I have a theory, and I know it seems cruel but I would love to round up all these people up and take them to a third-world country and let them see what real suffering is like.

Then again, they will manage to make this pain their own (like how the trauma of such suffering – versus the suffering itself – is sometimes worse than the real thing). They will always feel LIKE a victim even though they really are not. Empathy for empathy’s sake, when taken to extremes, is dangerous.

This is very alarming to me – and I think, an ultimately useless response to everyone else but the “victim”. And I think the more “help” they get (or the help the medical/psychiatry community can offer today), the worse it becomes because in some twisted way, it enables them. Therapy ENABLES them. How the heck do you solve it? Like Munchausen’s, you know? You just throw the patient back on the streets because he’s faking it for the attention. But how the heck do you solve a psychiatric version of Munchausen’s?

It’s a variation of Munchausen’s-cum-martyr-cum-victim complex. How the heck do you deal with it?

By: Dawn

Dawn — Fri, 02 May 2008 20:00:32 +0000

I am reading a biography of Anne Sexton right now (re-reading it, actually), and the woman you’ve described sounds a lot like Anne, who was a brilliant poet. She was also mentally ill and required all kinds of assistance to live her life– drugs, alcohol, sex, therapy and even institutionalization. She won the Pulitzer prize, earned all kinds of honors and attention, and everybody took care of her. But she ended up killing herself in mid-life anyway. Maybe wants are sometimes needs… or maybe the wants we turn into needs end up harming us. Interesting post.

By: Tracey

Tracey — Fri, 02 May 2008 13:30:02 +0000

Well said.