I do not have the perfect marriage. But who here does?

Like many people in the ‘business’, we put on our facades and hide our the true state of our unhappiness because that’s what mature people do.

Certainly, because we have so many close friends and family who read my blog, venting my frustrations here would certainly cause a lot more concern than these disagreements deserve.

Plus, it really isn’t our culture to discuss these things openly. The concept of talking to a couples counsellor or a relationship therapist is as American and foreign to us as cherry pie. In Malaysia, paying someone to listen to your personal problems pretty much means you’re at the end of the line, and that you’ve taken the need for a stranger to fix your problems as a last resort. Aka, no hope liao.

Like all couples, we have our good days and our bad days. We are two very different people even as we are very alike. I am emotional, sentimental and explosive. Lokes is very logical, coldly calculative when it comes to attacking an issue and tends to stonewall during a conflict. I’d say we are a very typical married couple.

And unlike this couple, having kids was the event that brought up even more of these differences, so much so that there were many times I’d wondered in our almost a decade of being together, that how we could have actually survived being together for so long.

That said, I love my man very much. And after all that we’ve been through, in the hierarchy of who in the family comes first in my heart, there’s the kids, him, and then me. Of that I’m certain.

And I will always remember these words at the end of the day. That it is not how many arguments we manage to avoid, but how many we manage to overcome.

His words.

Love you babe. Don’t freak out when I leave for Chicago.