So I read in the papers today that it’s rude to correct a child’s grammar if one is not a teacher.

A dentist had written to Miss Manners (resident etiquette corrections person at the Seattle Times), that he (or more probably a she) noticed that some of his/her patients spoke broken English, and asked if it was kosher to set said child straight. You know, sentences like “Where you at?” just oughtn’t be allowed to suspend in the air offensively (quick, when was the last time you used – or heard – the word “oughtn’t”?).

Miss Manners said no, you oughtn’t correct a child. Stick to oral cavities, not oral clarity, she said. No cause to embarass the young children unnecessarily.

This made me wonder. Would I want my child to be corrected by a well-meaning dentist if Rae was erring grammatically? Granted, she’s five and has erred in areas much graver than grammar (Mommy, can you give me that pizza taker-outer? What the hell do you call that thing, by the way?) but really, what is so wrong about a dentist telling my daughter that it’s “Where are you?” and not “Where you at?”

That’s what I feel is somewhat wrong with the world today. All this need for political correctness, it’s like an invisible box we have to walk around with, so much so more often than not we end up not even saying what we mean, or saying much at all.

And here we are, talking about lack of communication between two people, when all the things you really should say, oughtn’t be said because it’s just not polite to do so.

To be politically correct to our children (or other people’s children) or to be honest? To use carefully crafted answers or to tell them the stark naked truth?

Why should I wait to have sex? Because most men aged 30 and over are more experienced and hence will be able to properly show you how it’s done. As such, legally, you’d have to wait until you’re at least 18 to do it with these men. Yes, THESE.

Why can’t I marry my childhood sweetheart? Because it never lasts and Mommy has many friends who will attest to that. Here are their email addresses. Here’s the email address of ONE that lasted. Unless you’re willing to live EXACTLY like them, don’t.

Where do babies come from? Mommies (I’ve never understood what the big deal is with this question).

Why does Daddy have a tail? Because he’s a boy.

Why do boys have tails? So that they are different from girls or else we would all be girls.

Why does Uncle John have a boyfriend? Because he’s gay.

What does gay mean? It means you’re very happy.

So if you have a boyfriend, it makes you happy? Precisely.

Honesty, guys. That’s all it takes.