For a while now, I’ve been thinking about going back to God. However, having spent two decades in a flux - Am I still Christian? Do I still believe? -  I am at a loss at where to start. Do I explore other faiths? Do I hang on to Christ? Do I start all over again?

I say a prayer every night with my kids to God and Christ. So it must be that I still do believe. And yet, I find myself wondering if I am ready to commit wholely to a faith that is governed by rules and regiments, many of which I don’t fully agree with. Truthfully? No.

Today, while watching Mrs Brown (a terrific movie, by the way), I Googled Dame Judi Dench and discovered that she was a Quaker, and how that had shaped her as a young lady. Before this, I’d thought the Quakers were like the Amish, as in men in large buckled hats rolling oats. And so, I Googled Quakers and ended up stopping the movie and reading everything about the Religious Society of Friends movement.

I started reading this article named Silent Worship and Quaker Values, and slowly felt myself warming up to the faith’s ideals of creedlessness and stillness, that anyone can experience God directly and that “Quakerism is just one way to know God, and authentic expressions of God’s leadings are also found in other religions.”

I bet some of you did not know that there are Christians out there who believe this. I surely did not. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. This was how I’d believed in God and Christ even as I’d read the bible so many years ago. This was how I’d envisioned a loving, changing God to be. All the while, one question kept slapping me up on my forehead: Why have I not known of Quakerism all my life (except for the oats in my Milo that I used to hate)?

And so, my dear readers, I am going to my first Quaker meeting, the Sunday after this. I won’t be bringing the girls ‘coz it’s just going to be a kind of reconnaissance, you know, to check it out, see if it’s not some kind of crazy cult thing, which I don’t think it’ll be but one can never be too sure these days. Lokes, if you’re reading this, not to worry. As distasteful as the saying is to me now, I won’t drink the Kool-Aid.

Anyone reading me here is a Quaker? Or have any experience with Quakers/gone for any of their meetings? Please, share.