Regrets
For some reason, I’ve been thinking a lot about regrets the past week.
Not that I’m depressed or anything. In fact, I’m all psyched about the home-buying and moving (but, naturally, not about the packing and unpacking) but the fact that I don’t have a four-year degree has been lurking in the shadows a bit more than usual.
Very few people know this (perhaps because uneducation isn’t something to advertise). Well, now all of you do.
I’d reluctantly read law for three years via an external programme at the University of London. In fact, I did quite well the first two years. And then money simply petered out. Suddenly, remaining in KL was all I cared about. Alas, discipline was not one of my strongest virtues (it still isn’t). After a while, it just became too much, and I simply gave up.
I don’t blame my parents, although I know my mom still does to this very day. They were government teachers. Not in a million years would they have been able to save up for two overseas uni educations.
But here’s the positive. Along the way, I discovered I had a knack for putting two words together. My mother told me I’d always had it in me, writing poetry when I was about eight or nine. I took comfort in that. Still, I’d always thought I’d get back to uni eventually.
I never did.
I told Lokes that if we ever strike the lottery, I would take part-time classes at the UW and get myself a degree in English. Maybe even a Ph.D. I will then take another degree in education perhaps, and end up teaching (since Washington is 42nd in the country in that regard).
I often think about what I will say if Rae or Sky decide to drop out of school for whatever reason. Lokes assures me money will never be one of them.
How do you teach a child that knowledge is the most powerful thing they can ever acquire? Should I tell them that Mommy’s chief regret in life was not having had the discipline to finish my education?
Well. Perhaps I won’t need to.
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Posted in Imperfect Everything
October 17th, 2006 at 1:22 pm
having a paper that states you have a degree does not equal that you actually learnt something for the past 3-4 years in uni. Don’t get caught up in the paper chase. Go back to school because you want to learn and better yourself and not because you are shy to say that you do not have tertiary education. I think you would do well in getting a degree in English.
When I came here, the company could subsidise for a Masters but I wasn’t interested in going back to the rat race. My passion was in food. NYC has the best culinary schools and I wanted to be learn more about food and how to run a restaurant. However after finding out how much it cost, it was too expensive to pursue as a hobby. Bummer, maybe when the kids are older than maybe I can finally fullfil my dreams of becoming a student at NYC’s famed culinary schools. In the meantime, watching Food Network on TV will have to do. hehehe.
October 17th, 2006 at 2:13 pm
Yea I know. It’s not the paper but the opportunity that I could’ve learnt something valuable, that I miss. The firm hand of education that could’ve shaped me to become more than I am today. That is a quality even an SAHM can use to better equip her children for their future.
I often tell Lokes that what I admire most about grads is that they endured and resisted and basically survived college/uni. It’s not easy, esp. at that age. More so if went through it via a pricey loan/govt grant/your parents’ hard-earned savings.
October 17th, 2006 at 5:43 pm
I’d like to say that education in the written form is fairly overrated. After all, knowledge really comes from experience eh? I know of someone who graduated from a prestigious art school in London, can he actually draw? NO! He has zero creativity. My dear hub, he had no money for art school..can he draw? YES! He started his own business with his love of art/design. Don’t self-doubt too much, you need all the positive energy you can build up to pass it on to your children!
October 17th, 2006 at 7:16 pm
Well said ppl.
Jenn, another thing, make sure you’re reallllly passionate about something before you actually decide to take up that particular course. Im a 25y.o. whos regretting taking up an MBA coz its just not my cup of tea. But I was naive enough to be influenced by people around me say that an MBA opens up many doors. Maybe it does, but Im just not enjoying what Im doing. I’ve finished all 15papers and am now in the midst of completing my thesis(at least I had the common sense to write about something that Im passionate about - the spa industry). I took evening classes, hauled my @55 off to class every evening after work for almost 3 years. It aint easy I tell you that, but I sure hope its worth the while. Maybe you could consider a part-time thing, dunno how it works there in the US though. Hugs and kisses to R and S. - An-avid-reader-of-yr-blog-who-hardly-ever-comments- 
October 17th, 2006 at 7:20 pm
Yea law really wasnt my thing, even though some fortune teller told me like when I was 15 that I would be a lawyer, can u believe it? I am passionate about writing and English. Teaching? I don’t know if I can do that full time lol. It’s great helping people tho.
October 17th, 2006 at 7:22 pm
From a daughter’s perspective: My mom always told me since young about how important education is. She always quote the Chinese idiom that says that “A golden house is inside the books”. She said that both my parents would probably never have any inheritance for me, but the best they can do for me is to let me get a good education. And they really used up a big portion of all their savings so that i could go to college. =) The best thing is that even when i did badly in my SPM because of over-confidence, they still stood behind me with all their support, and never lost faith in me. Now that i’ve graduated and realised the importance of having a good education, i’m glad that her words were always in my subconsciousness..ahaha…it does help!
For my mom, she has a very good career but similarly, she always has this regret in her that she doesnt have a degree. So recently, she took up a part-time diploma course at UMalaya to fulfill her life-long desire of being a “graduate”. And she managed to do it!
Today, a very elderly man came to the theme park i work in, and mentioned that it took him 72 years to finally meet Mickey Mouse. On one hand, i’m glad he finally made it, on the other, i wondered what took him so long to make his wish come true.
Cheers!
October 18th, 2006 at 7:58 am
Jenn, I know exactly how you feel. I’m about to turn 31 and my only nagging regret is dropping out of Art College. I had a partial scholarship but still it was very expensive and I just didn’t have the discipline to work and go to school full time. Now I feel like I have lost my talent for all things art related(unless you count my new scrapbooking hobby).
I tell my hubby all the time that I want to go back to school, maybe get a degree in something useful to the world. Now that I’m a mom it’s so hard to imagine how I would juggle my wife and mother duties and while trying to be a student again.