This morning, the kids were watching Nick Jr’s Diego and Blue’s Clues. Naturally, there were commercials or as we Malaysians call them, “niasing, another ad!” in between, and this ad for a baby doll came on, called Baby Alive.

If there were no more words left in the world to describe my sentiments at seeing what this toy does, I would probably take a fork and a cab over to whoever created it to get the message across by poking him repeatedly on his or her forehead.

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, DUDE? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? HERE, STICK A FORK IN IT!

Baby Alive is a baby doll that is so real that its lips move when it talks (in perfect American English, no less). What’s more, you can feed it green goop. And what’s MORE more, it poops said green goop, so your three-year old gets to change diapers too!

As we were watching it, I looked over at Rae to see her reaction. Usually, when she sees something she likes, she will jump and yell, “I WANT I WANT I WANT PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MOMMY I WANT I WANT I WANT PPLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAASE!!!”

But this time, she just sat there, staring at the product, mouth a little ajar, eyes a little glazed over.

Hmm. Should I? I should. Let’s see.

“Isn’t that cool, babe?” I asked.

Without looking at me, she simply answered, “Nah.”

“Isn’t it cute?” I ventured further.

“That’s poop, Mommy,” she said. And I swear, I saw a shudder, possibly from witnessing and being the wet-tissue-grabber-before-mommy-flips-out at too many episodes of Sky making messes in the play pen (although Sky’s nickname, Poopi, has nothing to do with that).

I struggled to mantain a straight face.

“That’s my girl,” I said, and gave her a little squeeze.

And then went to the bathroom to giggle my ass off.