Why have more than one

If there is one good reason to have more than one child, besides not wanting to foster the mythical Only Child Syndrome or the result of a broody evening after looking at a friend’s newborn’s photos, it is so that your kids can have funny conversations.

And if there is one good reason to make sure you ‘space’ your kids properly (if you can help it), it is so that your older kid(s) can help out.

Older siblings are good for things like:

Warning you of #2s

“Mommy, Mei Mei poopoo!” (even if you’re in a supermarket aisle, filled with FOOD, within earshot of at least THREE people)

Help you hold baby still while you clean said #2

“Mei Mei, no! Don’t move! Stinky poo! STINKY POO!!!!”

Be your anywhere taker/thrower of things

“Raeven, can help mommy get wet tissue?”

“Raeven, can help mommy take the newspaper?”

“Raeven, can help mommy throw away the diaper?”

“BUT MOMMY, it’s STINKY!”

Help keep the younger sibling occupied

“Raeven, can help mommy distract Mei Mei for a while?”

“Okay mommy. Mei Mei, now let’s DIVE OFF THE COUCH INTO THE HARD FLOOR!!”

Of course, with the good, comes the bad:

The younger sibling learns all sorts of inappropriate words the meanings of which she has NO idea, or care

“Mei Mei, no! Don’t move! Stinky poo! STINKY POO!!!”

“TINKYPOO!!!”

“Mommy, you have a BIG BUTT!”

“BUTT!”

They get to playing games invented by four-year olds that are way too dangerous for even the four-year olds themselves

“Mei Mei, on the count of three, EAT ALL THE GRAPES AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!”

They begin to foster too much respect and admiration for their older sibling (and not nearly enough for their parents)

“Skyler, Mommy said NO!”

“Phhbbbbtbbttt!!”

“No! No blowing out the food!”

“Phhhnnntnnnntt”

“Raeven, please tell Mei Mei to STOP IT!!!”

“Skyler, NO!”

“…o-kay!”

They begin to fight

“No Mei Mei! It’s Che Che’s!!!”

“NoooooOOooo! Waaahhhhahhhahaaaaa!!”

“Mommy!! Mei Mei took my Polly!!! Let go!!”

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAAAAAAAW!!!”

“MOMMY!!! *SCREAM* NOOOO!!! NO NO NO!”

Bloodcurdling screams fill the house.

Sometimes, I float the notion of having a third.

Lokes responds by sticking his fingers into his eye sockets to try and dig his eyeballs out.

I wonder why.