So today is Day 8 of Project 12, my weight loss journey.

As usual, after my breakfast, I walk to the gym (which is just two minutes away, it’s in my complex) and on my way there, I do my stretches and warmups against like benches and the sort. An old lady sitting with her dog gives me an odd stare. She’s probably thinking, “About time, isn’t it, young lady?”

So I get to the gym and the first thing I do is to weigh myself. And guess what?

I have gone down FIVE KILOS!!

This can’t be right. This CAN’T be right. Yesterday, I was just two kilos down. I can’t have dropped three overnight. Did I remove my shoes yesterday? I don’t remember but GAWDAMMIT this is MAGNIFICENT, I think to myself. I am elated.

And then my cautious, paranoid self takes over.

Come on. Something is wrong with the scales. Someone fiddled with it, don’t be fooled you gullible nitwit, it says.

I look at the thing. It’s one of those old ones where you need to push the weights back and forth until the tip at the right end balances. I call them tease scales because they keep you in suspense until you get the thingie to balance and it’s freakin’ nerve racking.

I mean, HELLO? Ever heard of digital scales?

You get them at hospitals too, where the nurse does the ‘balancing’ for you while you stand there like a child being punished in your knickers as she takes her own sweet time to get the final tally. It’s the healthcare institution’s little way of punishing you for being fat.

ANYWAY, so I check the thing because, you know, I am suddenly the tease scale expert. I look at it from the front, and the back, and this way and that to see if any of the screws are loose. Of course, it’s an exercise in futility since there ARE a dozen screws on the thing and none of them look like they are loose or screwable with just fingers. 

And so I decide to weigh again.

Shoes off. Get on. Push bottom lever. Push top lever. Nudge. Another nudge. Another nudge back. Rulers go up and down and up and down. Eaaaaasy does it. There. Floating, beautifully balanced…thingie.

107kgs. I was 112kgs. I had dropped 5 kilos.

That’s 11lbs.

11 FREAKIN’ POUNDS!!???

 

God I’m good. Someone hand me a tissue.