Yes, I have a new label.

I got it after reading this article.

 

You see, there are certain issues that I feel VERY strongly about.

Breastfeeding. Hands-on parenting. Hard work. Swimming right after you eat.

Many times in the past, in this blog and elsewhere, I have made my feelings about these concerns known. VERY clearly.

And for that, I apologise. Because honestly, you don’t know me very well.

To those who are new to the Jennifer Tai experience, I am an aggressive, opinionated, loud person. I am ALL about the tough love. Sometimes, a good telling-off IS just what’s needed. My husband can attest to that. Because he has suffered through these tough love ‘sessions’, and I do so dearly love him for that, he can tell you that there IS love in there, deep between the judgmental suppositions and overanalytical theorising. You just have to let it all SINK IN.

Anyway, I apologise if I have somehow added to the guilt you already feel. God knows that’s the last thing ANY mom needs. And we know how EASILY ALL of us feel guilt. Why the hell are we so self-absorbed anyway? Why is everything OUR fault?

How the hell do I know? I don’t know.

I DO have issues about my confidence and I DO secretly feel the need to do better than other people, or at least do AS WELL as them, mainly because I am afraid of getting left behind. After all, how else am I to know I’m doing a good job? By looking at the fact that my kids are still alive? That they are not hurting small animals? By their impeccable table manners? By you telling me KUDOS ON THE CLEAN KIDS!

How are you as a mom, by the way?

Sometimes, I do wish I had that ‘Teflon’ coating, like all husbands, and not be fazed by other women who are obviously doing so much better. So much so that all they have to do is to stand in front of me, to be Confidence Vampires. So how do you know you’re not one already?

And for someone who’s a Confidence Vampire, I don’t seem to be conserving this confidence I am purportedly sucking. I am leaking confidence. All the time.

Maybe that’s it. We, as mothers, are never ever going to be confident about our jobs because we’re so goddamn complicated. Let’s just all be scared shitless and hug and tell each other it’s okay, we’re gonna be OH KAY.

 

Wimps.