I had the most bizarre of dreams last night.

You know, the kind you have after a few joints.

Not that I know how that’s like.

Or maybe I do.

There used to be this guy. Well, there were quite a few guys, but this particular guy was quite unique because I never used to think of him romantically because he was younger than me. I’ve always believed in the false security of age and experience (evidenced apparently by facial hair) so although he used to hang around a lot, I’d never thought of him more than a brother (cliched but that’s the story). Until one day, someone told me that he’d been ‘interested’ in me all along. That was many years after we’d lost touch (particularly since I was already going out with my now-husband). It was just so weird, to find out that someone you thought would never think of you that way, was actually trying for what was like two years, to get your attention, and never did.

Anyway, so yesterday, I dreamt of this guy and that we were back in the day. Suddenly, it was like my brain decided to do a springclean, and proceeded to drag out all the meaningless little things all the meaningless guys in my life did, and I’d failed to notice, until now. Like 50 years too late. 

All the times he drove me home and we sat talking outside the house. When he’d come by for no reason, knock on my window from the backlane and wanted to check if I’d eaten (we starting-out-writer-types always looked out for each other that way). When we went drinking, he’d always volunteered to drive me home and make sure I wasn’t on my back out in the garden, being eaten by cats.

I didn’t even know I had those memories.

My husband tells me that having dreams is your brain’s way of purging out unwanted stuff. What about stuff you never knew you had? I mean if that’s the explanation, it’s odd, ‘coz now I am remembering ‘stuff’ I never knew I had!

Ah well. I’m not sure if you’re reading this (you know who you are), I’m sorry dude. I just never knew. And even if I did, it couldn’t have workedlah ‘coz as I’ve just discovered, I happen to like guys with moustaches. And we both know you will



…be able to grow one.


Here’s to you having a happier life than you would’ve with me, wherever you are!