Us big girls have it good here in the US.

Back home in Malaysia, I hated to shop. What for? Finding clothes for my pre-baby figure was hard enough. After Raeven, I had gone completely off the size chart so it was just a waste of time.

And don't even get me started on those plus-sized brands like Ms Read. Granted more aunties are plus-sized than young girls in Malaysia, but to have to wear only animal prints and/or large floral motifs year in and year out? No wonder we work so hard to lose weight.

But ahh, to walk into a department store in the US, I feel almost thin again. Just seeing 'XXL' in every aisle makes me smile, as my eyes carress all the different styles and colours before me, singling out pieces that deserve my lingering touch, fingers gracing the tops of their hangers, subtly feeling their way towards the price tag to see if I in turn deserve them.

And then my eyes spot the clearance rack.

My heart stops.

There are two of them.

No, three.

No, FOUR! All packed with XXLs of blouses, jeans, pants and tees!

And before I can close my gaping, drooling mouth, my feet lumber towards the discount racks like there's no tomorrow, my eyes rekindling an ability I thought had been lost forever to resignation and motherhood: the ability to spot a buy three pieces deep in an overstuffed rack.

My senses sharpen. My muscles grate and grind into motion like ancient gears to an undiscovered tomb.

I am shopping. And nothing can stop me.

Two 'baby' tees (I use the word liberally since the ones I got would most likely fit three babies each), one sweater and one pair of jeans later, I hear a familiar voice, saying unfamiliar words, behind me:

"Wah. More clothes?"

I turn to see my dear husband and two children. All looking at me.

And my loot.

"I'm just going to try them," I say, heading towards the changing rooms, careful to avoid direct eye contact.

"Really? You don't ever try anything," the man, who knows me better than my own mother, calls after me.

"Yea. Just to be sure," I say, quickly disappearing into a change room.

Of course, I ended up buying everything.

Not sure if this is a good thing, me discovering that in the US, I don't have to shop in a plus-size store anymore.

It feels good.

So it must be good.