Isn’t it weird how sometimes, some conversations that occured weeks or even months ago, can suddenly just show up in the middle of your brain?

Perhaps I have too much time now that I’m just sitting in a semi-empty house with just my PC, but a conversation I had with some of my girl friends the other day, about another girl friend, just popped up and I decided to blog about it.

Now my girl friend G, has been seeing this guy, A, for like eight years. They are planning to get married this year, but no date has been set. You know how it is when two people have been dating that long, and have been putting something away for so long, that before you know it, the year you say you’re going to get the knot tied, is here. And people start asking for specifics. And you realise you don’t have any, because you REALLY haven’t planned a wedding but at all.

Anyway, I never really liked A. Not when we first got to know him. But apparently, he’s changed. Still, he’s left many a bad influence on G. Apparently, G is now not working, and spends thousands of ringgit gambling. Yes. G gambles. On 4D, on horses. According to my friend F, she lost like over a thousand ringgit the last time they got in touch. It was truly shocking.

But you know how it is with telling your girl friends the truth about their men. I’ve been there and I nearly got beaten up physically for my trouble. You just don’t tell your friend that her guy sucks. First, she will NEVER believe you because no matter HOW long you’ve known her, the guy matters more since he’s seen her naked. Secondly, girls are mostly idealists. We like to believe someone can change for the better. We are also conceited, thinking we can help that change happen because - well, he loves me. He will change for me.

Oh please.

So now it’s eight years and wedding bells are supposed to be ringing, but they are, for the most part, silent. We ask our friend M, with genuine concern, why G is still with A?

“She says she prefers to fix the problems with him, since they’ve been together for so long, then to go through the same problems with a new guy,” says M.

Now that’s a reason I’ve never actually heard before. It’s both logical and illogical at the same time. Yes, all relationships have problems. And yes, many couples often encounter the same problems (or else we won’t have women’s magazines or - ahem - aunt agony columns): taking each other for granted, a lack of intimacy, a lack of commitment, a lack of knowledge where the clitoris REALLY is (and NOT admitting to it).

But to trudge on with the same fellow because if every relationship is GOING to have problems, might as well work on the one you’ve invested so much time and effort on?

Talk about old-fashioned.

What I found to be truly depressing is that for her philosophy to work, she must believe that all men are essentially the same. Or more like, the kind of men SHE likes.

That is a belief that is true to a good extent. Birds of a feather and all that. And if so, it DOES sound more practical to work on your problems instead of moving on. But that also means that there is no room for romance to surprise. For new experiences. For someone fresh to take her breath away.

I told you it was depressing.

And to think that A is the ONLY guy G has ever dated. For someone as beautiful as her to have lost such hope in men, is just tragic.

Then again, some might say that such dedication and perseverance are lost ideals in today’s love ‘em and leave ‘em world!