Excerpt of a conversation with my mom yesterday:

“You better ‘chup sang’* Fer**”

“Why?”

“Well, you are no longer gainfully employed now. You’re just a housewife. You better watch yourself.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, maybe she*** might think you’re not deserving of your good fortune. Not earning it.”

“Hah? She was also not working last time what.”

“Yea, but she was pretty. You’re fat. So becareful.”

*Cantonese for “buck up”
**Short for “Jennifer”
***Madam Milly

Apparently, slogging away at home taking care of one’s kids and cooking and cleaning isn’t enough.

One has to also look pretty doing it.

Whose rules are these?

As impertinent as the reasons may sound, my dear old-fashioned mother may be right. Sometimes, the vibe I seem to get from Madam Milly is that I don’t deserve my husband. Maybe I never did, because I have a big nose, a ‘monkey mouth’ and am 50kgs overweight.

But look at my kids. I think they’re the most beautiful children in the world. That’s all that matters. Plus they must be useful to the world when they grow up, of course.

The least rational, bitchiest part of me thinks that vain women should never have sons because they’d expect their sons to marry beautiful women as well. 

And they definitely should never have daughters because gee-ee-zuz, we need another vainpot like we need another tall building.

I do need to lose weight, that’s for sure. But I sure as hell ain’t gonna like it.

ps. On further thought, I asked myself, did I marry a man who loves me for what I am? For what I ALREADY am? I wasn’t exactly Kate Moss when I met him. Does he expect me to become Kate Moss, just because I don’t hold a paying job anymore and hence, have tons of time to fix myself up?

Yea, I’ll ditch the kids in daycare and get right on that.